• Aviophobia, In My Neighborhood Wal-Mart, God is Your Mother Who Creates Miniatures

    Aviophobia
        inspired by the Congressional hearing of Christine Blasey Ford

    In a room smaller than
    it seems spread thin across screens
    streaming around the nation
    and 27 years since last,
    they ask about the fear of flying.
    A pressurized metal tube traveling impossibly
    at 20,000 feet at 500 miles per hour, sipping
    Diet Coke and working your jaw
    to pop your ears. Reasonable to be
    scared of flight—well, reasonable to
    be scared of falling. But if you are scared of
    falling,
    why two doors in your home
    why not say something sooner
    why not say something then

    why can’t you remember how you got there
    back
    why doesn’t he/she
        a calendar
            remember
          
     he was seventeen and now
    it’s a case of
    he said, she screamed
        
    and the music was turned up louder

    how are you here today?
    You must not be afraid of falling.

    (Thank you for taking the plunge.)

    In My Neighborhood Wal-Mart

    I find some of the most
    optimistic
    places in the world to be
    the missing persons boards
    in Wal-Marts.
    How much hope they have—
    that a casual shopper
        a harried mother in sweatpants
        and a bedlam T-shirt, two and a half
        children hanging from her forearms
        as she pushes a cloud of dreamy plastic bags
        soft swaths of white cushioning toilet paper
        laundry detergent and Lunchables
    will glance at the image, think, “oh,
    yes, I have seen that face; I avoided eye
    contact with it at the liquor store last Friday.”

    One image stands out in black and white,
    red stating ONLY PHOTO AVAILABLE
    at the lower margin of the young woman’s stern
    face, smudged by low quality. Her eyes
    not quite focused, looking at something past
    the camera, perhaps at the beginning of the eighties, of
    her life,
    when she went missing. And
    in the upper right corner, digitally produced,
    a photo of what she would look like now, in sharper image
    than her existence: older,
        chunkier, hair short and shot through with
        gentle blonde highlights, lines from age and smiling—
    the photo of a woman who went missing
    and proceeded to live life, have a family,
    gain enough years to gain the hairstyle middle
    aged women seem to inevitably choose.
        
    How optimistic to will her into the present with an image
    like a photo from the teachers’ page of a yearbook.
        How optimistic to not, instead, write AGE PROGRESSED
        over a picture of leaves and dirt
        and bones.

    God is Your Mother Who Creates Miniatures

    when you peek around the corner
    she is working on planets in a galaxy
    spread across rough-hewn wood,
    “The Milky Way”.

    you wonder if the name was stripped
    from chocolate wrappers strewn about the floor
    wonder about the legalities—
    if the name falls under fair use if
    she won’t make money off of it
    but others will because, well,
    televangelists.

    a pinprick is visible between the thumb
    and pointer finger of her right
    hand, her left dusting it with sugar-fine
    ice and you half expect her to

    swallow it whole

    instead she extends
    and places the pinprick far from the warmth
    of her

    chest. the ring on her finger knocks
    “earth” slightly on its axis.

    she doesn’t notice or she doesn’t care,
    or maybe it was intentional,
    or maybe it was an accident and she’ll say it was intentional,
    you never can tell with her.

    you like “earth”.

    she let you hold it once;
    its water tickled your fingertips, dampened
    the land as your thumb skimmed it, the crevices
    of your skin stenciling mud.

    you felt the growth of lifelines across
    its palm, holding hands
    with the swells of mountains until

    a sudden prick on your finger pulled crimson
    puddling between knuckles;
    you sucked the blood,
    iron and steel kissing your tongue.
    “why did you add a needle to earth?”

    soft smile, never breaking her staring contest with jupiter.
    “i didn’t.”

    she hunches when she works,
    completely negating the expensive
    chair designed to provide
    good lumbar support.
    she complains
    even though it's her fault:

    “it’s the devil”
    she says
    as she stretches her spine
    like a serpent.
     
     
     
    Julie Dawkins

    Julie Dawkins
    Grade: 11

    Deer Creek High School
    Edmond, OK 73012

    Educator(s): Narciso Arguelles

    Awards: Poetry
    Silver Medal, 2019

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